Dear Journal/ People of the World,
Im here to talk about my phone bill. Over the course of ONE WEEKEND, SCOTT CALLED ME 61 TIMES. I CNNOT HANDLE HIM AND HIS OBSESSION WITH ME. I LOVE NATE! NATE NATE NATE. NOT HIM! I told him I was in love with him to shut him up but it really just drew him closer. I cant deal with him all the time. Hes cool to hang out with sometimes but I cant deal with him talking to me 50 times a day. I really dont like him like that. He gets jealous when I tell him i'm talking to Nate, like GTFO, im in love with him, NOT YOU! TOO MUCH FUCKING DRAMA! Get over it. I mean seriously, him and I will be nothing more than friends with benefits; if anything, him falling for me was a horrible idea. He called me 61 times. Obsession. I dont love him like that. He needs to get over it. UGH BOYS.
Love & Rockets,
Dear Journal/ People of the World.
Today was a sick day. I went into that crap hole with a headache and a massive tummy ache. It was an all around crappy day. The night before, I found out that Nate, my ex boyfriend, is still in love with me...or so he says. I LOVE HIM. i still love him and I think that I always will..the way he makes me feel, he makes me smile and blush and feel all girly...i love it; he's perfect. Recently he's been Facebook chatting me FIRST (!!!!) and we have been talking like we did over the summer when we were together. I was so much happier calling him my boyfriend than me being single and without him. This guy James, my friend Tai tried to set me up with is attractive and nice but hes not Nate. I feel really weird cause that's all I ever do; compare guys to Nate, because he was by far the best boyfriend ive ever had and he lives in MARYLAND. He said he'll try to see me soon and IM WEBCAMMING WITH HIM TOMORROW NIGHT!!!! He's all like "get on skype" and im like "i didn't know you had a skype" and hes like yeah, webcam wiht me...i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GOD , you people dont even understand how much this kid makes me smile. He makes my insides chocolate syrup. I get so nervous talking to him because I think he'll think im weird or smthing. I really really want him back but I dont think thats gonna happen anytime soon....ill keep 11:11 for him though. He is TRULY all I want for christmas. I want him sooooo badly. I really can't even stand it, hes the only one I want to talk to when I'm upset and the one I want to share everything with. and god....i want him so bad. My sixteenth birthday wish is to be with him forever and to get him to kiss me. I know what your thinking...NO KISS?! You woulda thought I would have had sex with this kid the way I talk about him....I havent even kissed him...I mean i have, but I havent. Hes kissed me on the cheek and head and stuff numerous times but not a real kiss, GOD do I want that. I just can't picture myself with anyone else. I mean it's been like 3 months since we broke up -___-. One of my greatest fears was that we wouldn't even be friends...im so happy we are. Im still in love with this kid and I would marry him in an instant if he asked me. I NEED HIM.
On another LOVEly note...well not so much...SCOTT.
Scott is my friend, we're not as close as I let him to believe. He's a liar. Hes a jerk. Hes obnoxious. Hes got killer eyes. Hes mean, Hes rude. Hes an asshole. Hes a liar (did i already say that?) and I cannot trust him. Hes in love with me. I convinced my mom into believing hes gay so he could come over and we can hookup and stuff but just because we hookup doesnt mean I like him...and hes IN LOVE WITH ME...or so he says, but he's a liar so I cant be sure. Hes a FROSH. I mean its whatever, but I love Nate and I always will, Scott really needs to realize that...and FAST. IM TIRED of having him call me all the time and becoming a major part of my life. Hes my friend but I cant have him any closer than we are now. HE WANTS TO GET IN MY PANTS. Im a virgin. I want to stay like that until marriage or until I want to with someone I really love....who the hell am i kidding? i want my first time to be with Nate. Im in love with him and yeah. But scott needs to LAY OFF. UGH BOYS.
Whatever, ill get over it.
Love & Rockets,