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2 days left...

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Dear Journal/ People of the World,

Well I have JUST TWO DAYS until i see Nate. IM SO NERVOUS. what if he doesnt like me? or thinks im hideous? i hate to say i bought an entirely new outfit just for the occassion. Its a little black pleather jacket with a yellow tank top and black skinny jeans. I want him to approve of me so badly. I want him to see that im still that kid he can always trust and talk to and have faith in, but i  also want him to see me and be like "Shit, I shouldn't have let the distance get between us, im still in love you you Lauren." NOW I KNOW that would never happen, but a girl can dream right? I love him so much. CORRECTION  I'm so in love with him. 
Tomorrow is also Friday and Jhada Harris' Sweet 16. Its gonna be on a BOAT. A MOTHER FUCKIN BOAT. Shes poor too which is the funny part. I cant even concentrate, I wanna go to maryland like now. I think my expectations are too high though. I want it to be cute and romantic and hysterical and touching and I feel like he wont even try to kiss me when im there, i mean its not like thats the only thing that ive wanted for like 2 years now or anything like that but ya know. 
I want him, I wanna be with him. I hate living this far away from him, I cant stand it. Im so in love with him ive never had the butterflies this bad over anything. I feel like my insides just blew up and the pieces are still falling down. I need this Saturday to work. it HAS to work, PLEASE GOD LET IT COME THROUGH.
Anxiety & Anticipation,
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